Love at first sight…
That is what happened when I took that tiny scrap of humanity in my arms, looked at the little face and fell in love with our little Lilly. My world changed forever. That was 5 years ago, Friday 10th February 2012. I didn’t realise how much our lives would be intertwined, particularly in those early months. We bounced on the exercise ball, we walked, we laughed, we cried and, horror of horrors, I sang. That was when “doo doo my Lilly” started out followed by the biggest lot of rubbish, like “why the hell will you not go to sleep!”, all in a sing song voice. August 2014 Luke joined the family
How do you prepare emotionally for the change from parent to grandparent?
Preparing for grandparenthood was never on my agenda. Most probably because my “being a Mom’s Taxi” days carried on for over 20 years and our eldest, our daughter, was 34 when she finally went down the aisle. Even then I refrained from frustrating my daughter with endless grand child talk and just went with the flow. My mindset then was “If they have a baby, cool, if they don’t, it is also okay.”
Now one cannot imagine what it will be like before they are born, but once they are it is astounding how you fall in love with the little bundles of joy and cannot stop yourself from “fussing” over them. Once they get older, the joy of having them around to visit and sleep over makes up for the fact that your own children have left home for good.
Being GP’s has changed our mindset. It adds a new dimension to future planning. When we downsize do we move closer to one or another of our 2 Jozi children? Suddenly that dream of moving Sedgefield way doesn’t seem such a good idea.
When considering moving closer to one’s children, it is good to remember that they can upstick and be on the other side of the world in the blink of an eye. So only move if it is where YOU want to be and where you can set up your own life and your own circle of friends.
How Involved should we be in our grandchildren’s lives?
This will depend on the relationship with the parents and where they live.
We are fortunate to be a 20 minute drive from our grandchildren and have a close relationship with all 3 of our children and their spouses. We are involved in Lilly and Luke’s lives on a weekly basis. Sleepovers; once a week school run; Papa helping with DIY and Sunday afternoon teas.
We lovingly reinforce their parents discipline so that Luke & Lilly know exactly where they stand. I have only gotten into trouble once and that was when their mother discovered that it was Nana that taught them to drink the last bit of milk left in the cereal bowl straight out of the bowl. So that has now become one of Nana’s Rules. It can be done at Nan’s but not at home!
Exodus 20:12 says “Honour your mother and father, so that you may live long in the land your father has given you.” We want to help Lilly and Luke in honouring their parents. What that looks like, will change from grandchild to grandchild but we want to guide them from as early as possible. The way honour is displayed is different as phases of life changes, our children grow up and they begin to start making decisions for themselves and we evolve from the front seat driver to the passenger giving guidance whenever needed. Having an open and honest relationship with the parents of your grandchildren is the best way to avoid any conflict.
How to provide the gospel to your grandchildren
Proverbs 17:6
Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. NIV
The point is that grandchildren are beautiful jewels that grandparents wear like strings of pearls. Chris Brauns
How to share the gospel with ones grandchildren again depends on circumstances. From our perspective, with all 3 children married, and with each (spouses included) at varying levels of Belief, there is no perfect blueprint.
One has to remember that they are your children’s children and as such, you have to respect that and not be prescriptive or confrontational.
With Luke & Lil being our first grandchildren we are on a training run and try to live by example and take our cue from their parents. The children know that we go to Church and Lil has been with us a few times. I have permission to read them stories about Jesus and the nod has been given for Lil to go to Sunday School when she is with us. We have to pray and let God guide us.
How do you best show love to your grand child?
Loving and interacting with your grandchildren is pretty much the same as what you did with your own children, only you get to do much much more of the good stuff and don’t have to worry about the day to day routine drudge. That’s Mom & Dads problem.
What are some practical things you can do when they come over?
Of course this depends on the age and what stage the grandchildren are. Being very practical hands-on people the children generally join in with what we are doingThey ride their bikes, help in the garden, play fantasy games, make tent houses with the chairs, cushions and blankets and cause total chaos when helping with the baking
Watching a grandchild go through the various stages of growth is a very rewarding, enriching experience and we are very fortunate to be able to spend so much time with these two and hopefully we will have the same with any further grandchildren that will join our family.
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