A personal account by Rene Roux as part of the Down Together Family.

Hi, I am Rene Roux, I am 39 years old and live in the East Rand, I have been part of Christ Church Midrand now for about 10 years and with the Down Together Group for about 8 years.

I would like to talk about Anxiety today.  I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I’ve had numerous anxiety and panic attacks since I’ve been in primary school already where I had to be rushed to the doctor.  Unfortunately, in those days (especially in children and especially with anxiety) it was not picked up and I was purely treated with oxygen for hyperventilation and ended up going around permanently with a paper bag on me to use when I was hyperventilating.  In severe cases I even passed out from lack of oxygen when all it was, was just all caused by anxiety. Anxiety of underperforming, anxiety of not being good enough, anxiety of presenting in front of a class of students even! This was not uncommon at all.

No one understood the pressure I was under (I was a mere child) and no one understood the pressure I put onto myself. Little did I know that this was actually a “treatable” emotion. I created bad coping mechanisms through the years as I was growing up which I regret doing now.

9 years ago I had a severe meltdown that resulted in me landing in a mental institution (sounds harsh but it was one of the many good things that has happened to me). I was diagnosed with severe anxiety amongst other things, but during my stay at the clinic I was able to see a psychologist everyday that helped me a lot with advice on better coping mechanisms.  Also, I attended classes daily which consists of counsellors doing group sessions with us also helping with coping mechanisms and explaining why we need them. All very helpful and have changed my life going forward.  I have to admit I’ve been “in” a few times since but not because it wasn’t working but sometimes life throws a hammer at you (like when my Dad passed away last year from cancer), the counsellors and psychologists are amazing and I was lucky enough to have one that was there for me spiritually as well.

So what is anxiety? How do you know what you are feeling might be anxiety? It is actually a natural enzyme that is set off in your primal part of your brain.  Have you ever heard of the saying “Fight, flight or freeze”?  Well that my dear friends is the brains primal response to these types of emotions. Each person handles their own emotions differently and there is no antidote to this.

Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an over reaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing (as quoted by Wikipedia). But what is it really? Your body has a chemical reaction from this emotion. Generally, you will feel physically uncomfortable from anxiety. Muscle stiffness from being on edge, fast or hard beating heart, tight chest and possibly change in breathing, pacing back and forth (just because you don’t know what else to do) or even rocking (like you would a child), spacing out by losing concentration as what is going on in your head is so much more important than anything else. Some people have it long term and some people might have a short panic attack.

Now that we know what this is, lets talk about life today in general and how COVID-19 has affected us all increasing anxiety in people who normally suffers from it and people who are new to this emotion. COVID-19 has taken a huge emotional toll on all of us. Depression, anxiety, fear, anger, worry, sadness, disgust, boredom, loathing, annoyance, aggressiveness, cruelty, indignation, suffering, grief, despair, hatred (the bad list of emotions are endless – but please remember that there are good emotions too which hopefully we will all be able to see at the end of this story).

The hardest thing about anxiety is the unknown. WHAT IF…? There is never an answer to WHAT IF except what you make out the answer to be in your head which can cause your anxiety to increase. What if I get Covid?  What if someone in my family gets Covid?  What if I lose my job because of Covid?  How am I going to pay rent and put food on the table?  What if the country runs out of rice? The WHAT IF scenarios are endless, trust me, it’s horrible, I’ve been there for a very, very long part of my life.

Example of a recent one I had: My dogs got into a fight and the little dog got hurt. Kind of normal right? It happens? But oh no, what if the little dog died?  What if the bigger dog tasted blood and wanted more? What if that dog then killed all my other dogs? What if the dog then turned on us and hurt or kill us?  I was horrified for ages over this. I wouldn’t let any of the dogs near each other, when the family did and I heard a scuffle I would freak out!  Yes my dear friends, the WHAT IF scenario’s are very dangerous and should be stopped as soon as you find yourself doing it.

Leave it in the Lords hands, that is where our problems belong.

So what can we do?

• Say a Prayer.
• Fill our lives with His Word.
• Close your eyes, count to 10 slowly, concentrate on each count.
• Focus on something that is REAL (like a tree, or a stone, or an ant walking past you).
• Calm your mind, breathe, concentrate on your breathing.
• Meditate (haha not quite what you think, its not intergalactic, meditation is actually just calming your mind to regain inner calm), bring and focus your attention to here and now, notice the sights, sounds, smells, your chest going up and down as you are breathing.
• Ask someone to tell you a joke or you tell a joke and make someone laugh.
• Look up a funny meme or clip on the internet.
• Just move your thoughts away from what it is that is troubling you.
• Write down what is troubling you and burn that piece of paper and find the calm as you see your pain fly away as ash in the air.
• Speak to a counsellor (many are doing consultations online to reduce covid risk)
• A friend that can cope with your burden at the moment (ask them first as some might be struggling too and they might not have the strength to listen to you right at that moment).
• Friends do not need to give advice, sometimes you just need someone to listen, like a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to lean on.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Create and maintain a routine.
• Take time for activities you enjoy.
• Sometimes helping someone else can also make you feel better.
• Focus on things you can control.

Everything is in God’s hands. So what can I control?

• Stay away from negative media and posts, don’t strain yourself over what is happening in the world or South Africa – it is out of your hands and is in God’s.
• Take precautions, think before you do something.
• Watch you eating habits. I’m not saying go onto a strict diet, but eat healthy, it helps your immune system as well as your emotional wellbeing.
• Exercise: just brief walks, get the air into your lungs and keep your muscles supple.
• Most of all watch your sleeping patterns. During deep sleep is when your immune system rebuilds, and during REM sleep is when your brain files all your thoughts. Too much sleep is also not good but being on a timer is well worth it.  Bad dreams disturbing your deep sleep?  Need to bring those anxiety levels down by trying to use some of the tools.

There are many more tools out there, these are just some of the ones that have worked for me.