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Tag: Women

  • Confessions of a Homemaker

    Confessions of a Homemaker

    Series: Born to work, by Rosie Moore.

    “The necessity for work—to be a creative, productive being—is built into man: Adam was created to be a working being” (Jay Adams, A Theology of Christian Counseling).

    As Christians, we believe that productive work is part of God’s design and is commanded by God (2 Thess 3:10-12; Gen 1:28; 2:15). We also know that sin has distorted and defiled work, making it hard, painful and often unfulfilling (Gen 3:17-19; Eccl 2:17-29). Yes, we are born to work, but work is not an end in and of itself. More accurately, we are born to worship our Creator in and through our work.

    Confessions of a homemaker.

    I confess that one of the most crippling lies I have believed in my lifetime relates to work and vocation. It was a “hollow and deceptive philosophy” that captivated me, a pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of God which needed to be demolished (Col 2:6-8; 2 Cor 10:5). Let me try to describe this lie to you as best as I can:

    As a woman educated within a worldly system, I wrongly assumed that being a steward of a home is an inferior calling. For many years I allowed the pendulum of what our culture values to sway my own thoughts and feelings about my work as a wife and mother. And because of this faulty thinking, I was ambushed at odd moments by the feminist lie that a woman’s identity is built on her public persona and accomplishments, especially a salaried job outside the home.

    But through Scripture, the Holy Spirit has progressively reshaped my twisted idea of work, plucking out the seeds of false guilt and futility that the enemy sowed in my heart. Paul’s instruction in Titus 2:1-5 convicted and corrected me in my sinful thinking about work as a Christian woman:

    “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

    Firstly, it’s important to debunk some myths about Titus 2:1-5: We know from examples of godly women like Lydia (a seller of purple cloth) and the industrious woman of Proverbs 31, that Paul is not saying that women should only work at home. Nor does this text imply that women have no place in the public arena or forbid us from being compensated financially for our work. Paul is not saying that Christian women should submit to all men and never contribute to church, community, or culture. These caricatures would deny the valuable contributions made by women in the early church and throughout history (Romans 16:1-15).

    But Titus 2 convinced me not to despise the vocation that God Himself has chosen for me as a woman. In his divine wisdom, He has given me specific work to do. He has given me a home, a family, and other responsibilities. Since God has called me to marriage and motherhood, obedience means faithfully doing the work He has set before me. It means obeying God’s commands to “work heartily as for the Lord, not for men” (Col 3:23), even when it seems repetitive and doesn’t deliver a fixed salary.

    Working heartily at home.

    Many workers are disillusioned when their job doesn’t deliver the fulfilment they seek, and homemakers are no exception. But for a Christian, job satisfaction comes from glorifying God in and through our work (Eccl 5:18-20). Fulfilment and joy are byproducts of heartfelt obedience to the Lord in whatever work God has given us to do.

    The Bible promises that when we pour ourselves heartily into our work, the Lord Himself will reward us in the future.

    “Work heartily…knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance” (Col 3:24).

    In the here and now, the Lord wants our wholehearted devotion. He commands us to work heartily, not out of a sense of duty or to earn His approval. In her practical little book titled, “How can I feel productive as a Mom?” Esther Engelsma warns women about the temptation of laziness, which produces a discontented and unproductive lifestyle. The antidote to laziness and lack of peace is to ‘work heartily, as for the Lord’.  Engelsma writes,

    “The exhaustion that comes at the end of a day of hard work is a far better feeling than the tiredness at the end of a lazy day of short tasks sandwiched between long breaks on social media. It is laziness that breeds discontent, not work. And while work does not guarantee contentment, you will never be content if you don’t do the work the Lord has put in front of you. It is in obedience that you find peace.”

    I have come to see that job satisfaction does not come from being productive in the world’s eyes or bringing home an impressive salary or raising well behaved kids, but from glorifying God and growing in godliness in and through my work at home. My work as a homemaker is my worship, an apt response to Christ’s work on the cross for me.

    Glorifying God at home.

    The first reason why work is inherently valuable is that it glorifies God. According to Titus 2, it glorifies God when women learn to be kind, pure and loving at home; content and grateful in their work, instead of believing that it is beneath them. It honours God when wives gladly follow their husbands’ leadership and team up with other women to share a Christian vision for their homes, helping each other live out this vision in practice.

    It pleases the Lord when older women, who have experienced the joys and challenges of homemaking, walk alongside younger women, offering godly encouragement, advice and prayers. This mentoring work is no less valuable than Adam tending the garden of Eden, or an architect designing a magnificent building, or a surgeon performing a heart operation. No person is more aptly suited to perform this role than an older woman who has walked with the Lord through the ups and downs of life.

    Titus 2:1-5 assures women that even if our culture does not affirm the significance of work within our homes, God sees and values the small moments of life. If Jesus “emptied himself” by taking upon Him the form of a servant (Phil 2:7), women imitate and glorify Christ when we pour out our energy, time, and abilities for those He calls us to influence at home.

    The Lord is pleased when you show little ones the beauty of His world and the wonder of the gospel. He is glorified when you love your work, use your time and resources well, and bring order and harmony to your home.

    Growing in godliness at home.

    The second reason why our work at home is inherently valuable is that it is designed to sanctify us day by day, year by year. We often forget this overarching purpose of our lives as believers. The Lord is always working all things for our good. And our ‘good’ is not a salary, nor praise, nor kids that make us look like good parents. Rather, our ‘good’ is that we are conformed to the image of Jesus, by the Spirit’s power (Rom 8:28-29). That means that God will infuse into our work exactly what is needed for our growth in godly character and faith.

    And so, if you are a young Christian wife with children, this means that the Lord Jesus hears every word you speak to your husband and children. He plans the fights you must mediate; the disappointments and failures you must respond to; the moments you come face to face with your own pride. He is working with you, and in you, as you prepare meals, drive the kids to school and sit beside the sport’s field.

    Christ watches over you as you shepherd young hearts to help them grow in their relationship with Him. He knows every sin you need to confess and forsake, every painful step to discipline a wayward child, or break sinful patterns of the past. He wants you to learn to trust Him increasingly through this long and unpredictable job of building a home and family.

    Your work is not to tick off boxes with your children, but to show them Jesus, so that when the Holy Spirit works in their lives, they are ready to believe. And in those seasons when you wonder if you have what it takes to be successful, be sure that you don’t have what it takes! But Jesus does. You need daily time in the Word to renew your mind; daily time in prayer to guard your heart; and intimate communion with God’s people to strengthen you with wisdom, hope, and love. You need Christ’s grace to grow in godliness and find your identity in Him alone, especially in trying circumstances.

    Women at work.

    Christian women of all ages and stages are called to faithful and fruitful work. God intends us to use our time well, to be enthusiastic, diligent workers who are a blessing to others. We see the nature of this work in the noble woman of Proverbs 31:

    “Her husband has full confidence in her

    And lacks nothing of value.

    She brings him good, not harm…

    She sets about her work vigorously;

    Her arms are strong for her tasks…

    She watches over the affairs of her household

    And does not eat the bread of idleness” (Prov 31:11-12; 17; 27).

    This doesn’t mean that we should neglect other important aspects of our lives, such as caring for the poor (Prov 31:20), visiting the sick, and reaching out to those who don’t know Christ, but the most important work a woman can do is to love and serve those whom God has entrusted to our care. This ‘home work’ is God’s work.

    I am now on the other spectrum of homemaking. As an empty nester, Titus 2 reminds me that “teaching what is good and training the young women to be godly in their own homes” is fruitful work in God’s eyes (Titus 2:4-5). The work of motherhood and homemaking must be learned from someone, and the world is a terrible tutor. At 82, my own mother continues to empty herself in service to her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She has always been a blessing and a mentor, and today “her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also” (Prov 31:28).

    Although we may never receive tangible rewards for homemaking, the Lord is writing the small, everyday work women do at home into His great story of redemption, for his glory and our good. Like every other worker, we are participating in God’s creation mandate (Gen 1:28). It is a great work from which we must not be distracted (Nehemiah 6:3), as stewardship of homes and families lies at the heart, not the periphery, of God’s mission in his world.

    To the extent that I have embraced this truth about my work, I have found joy and purpose as a steward of our home. It has been a privilege to be entrusted with the nurturing of family, to create a warm haven for my husband and four children, plus the wonderful son and daughter we recently acquired through marriage. I want my home to always be a place where outsiders feel welcomed and I am thankful to be involved in the lives of young adults who will, God willing, become stewards of their own homes one day.

    Nancy Wolgemuth concludes, “The heart for honouring Christ in and through our homes may express itself in different ways and may require more or less time and effort, depending on our season of life. But whether young or old, married or single, whether we own or rent our home or share an apartment or dorm room, the place we call “home” provides an opportunity to magnify Christ and bless others.”

    Preview of the next few weeks….

    I have shared this anecdote about my own faulty relationship with work to illustrate one of the many lies that a Christian may believe about work. Work is a good gift from God, but because of the curse it also presents many frustrations, pitfalls and temptations to sin (Gen 3:17-19).

    Join us in the next few weeks as we explore various Scriptures to understand work as a valuable part of God’s design for human beings.

    Sources and further reading:

    • Esther Engelsma, How I can feel productive as a Mom? Reformation Heritage Books, 2017.
    • Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free. Moody Publishers, 2001.
    • Rachel Jankovic, You Who? Why you matter and how to deal with it. 
    • Nancy Pearcey, Total Truth– Liberating Christianity from its Cultural Captivity.
    • Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart. Shepherd Press, 1995.
  • Snapshots of women adorning the gospel (Part 2)

    Snapshots of women adorning the gospel (Part 2)

    [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]Part 1 of this devotion can be found here.

    Luke is my favourite book of the Bible, because the ink on every page drips proof that women are not invisible to God. Romans 16 is my favourite chapter for the same reason. That might sound odd since this chapter is a message of final greetings. If you are tempted to skip over the long list of names like credits after a movie, I hope I can persuade you to see the beauty in these greetings. Paul’s very personal, affectionate greetings capture the soul of women’s ministry in early Christianity. They give us a picture of redeemed men and women working as partners alongside each other in Rome’s first church, and this is the prototype for our local church. Women found the church a liberating place to be. It was a beacon of light in their Greco-Roman culture where husbands could abandon them on a whim, baby girls were considered worthless and left outside by their fathers to die in the cold, and child brides were married off at 11 or 12 years old. In contrast, the church was a place where husbands were taught to be faithful and to love their wives like Christ loved the church. This was a far cry from husbands in Rome who expected their wives to be chaste while they engaged in any kind of sexual behaviour themselves, including having mistresses, temple prostitutes and homosexual encounters. For centuries, Christianity was mocked for being pro-women as women made up two thirds of the church, while the ratio in Greco-Roman society was two thirds men. Christianity was a safe haven for women because the wisdom of the gospel gave them life and dignity. Their voices were heard and their contribution valued in the local church. It was a place where they were free to be all that God created them to be, instead of chattels or sex objects. Romans 16:1-16 gives us a glimpse into these things:

    I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae,2 that you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well.
    3 Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well. 5 Greet also the church in their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in Asia. 6 Greet Mary, who has worked hard for you. 7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners. They are well known to the apostles, and they were in Christ before me. 8 Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord. 9 Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my beloved Stachys. 10 Greet Apelles, who is approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the family of Aristobulus. 11 Greet my kinsman Herodion. Greet those in the Lord who belong to the family of Narcissus. 12 Greet those workers in the Lord, Tryphaena and Tryphosa. Greet the beloved Persis, who has worked hard in the Lord. 13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well. 14 Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brothers who are with them. 15 Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them.16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

    Snapshots from Rome

    The nine women’s names in Romans 16 may seem irrelevant, but consider for a moment that these were real women with families and dangers that we cannot even imagine. They were a mix of rich and poor, slaves and aristocrats, married and single, young and old, Jews and Gentiles, bound together as sisters by their common commitment to Christ. They offered whatever resources they had to make a difference for the Lord in all kinds of ways and passed the gospel baton on to their children. They developed ministries to help widows, orphans and believers in prison, and gave their finances and homes too. Paul expresses obvious affection for these women and mentions some of them by name: Phoebe a deacon and patron of the church; Priscilla who (together with her husband Aquila) hosted the church in her house and risked her life for the Christians, Mary, Junia, Tryphena and Tryphosa (sisters), Persis, Julia, and Rufus’s mother, who was like a mother to Paul. These women did not just warm the pews but were active “workers in the Lord.” There is great affection and intimacy in Paul’s tone, but not a hint of impropriety or paternalism.

    Costly but liberating faith

    Women continued to flock to Christianity in the second and third centuries. Justin Martyr (150AD) noted that Christianity was spreading to wealthy women in aristocratic classes, many of whom were married to non-Christian husbands. Life was not easy for these women, as bearing the name of Christ carried a high price. Many women were single or widowed, and thus were very dependent and vulnerable. The husband of one wealthy woman despised her conversion to Christianity so much that he reported her to the authorities to be imprisoned. Marcia was the mistress of the tyrannical Emperor Commodis (of Gladiator fame). This brave Christian woman shared the gospel with the Emperor and influenced him to show mercy to Christians in prison, even freeing some of them. Today contemporary culture mocks Christianity for being oppressive and misogynist, but the record of history tells us a different story. The truth is that women have taken refuge in Christianity for centuries, because the gospel accords them value and dignity as image bearers of God. It also provides forgiveness and restoration from the shame many women experience as a result of what they have done and what has been done to them.

    Trailblazers

    Romans 16 introduces us to some of the sisters who blazed the trail for us and we will meet each one of them in heaven one day! Their names and lives matter profoundly to God. Even today, the Lord values the sacrifices women make and takes delight in their joyful efforts to show the world the most beautiful story that has ever been told. History bears witness to the many women who served at the forefront of Christ’s army, which grew from twenty disciples in the 30’s (AD), to thirty million by the end of the 4th century!

    What a beautiful picture of a redeemed family of servants on mission!

    Why should we care about women who are long dead and part of ancient history? I believe the rich tapestry of women in the Bible and historical sources weaves a picture of who we are as Christian women today, and shows us how we should follow Jesus, through the lens of who God is. The rich heritage behind us can give Christian women perspective to see our worth and to grasp the unique God-given opportunities to make the gospel beautiful to the world around us. That is our ‘Great Commission’ at home, in church and in the city (Matt 28:18-20).

    Prayer for daughters of God

    Lord, give us the faith of Sarah who left her family, culture and home in Ur to follow her husband Abraham into a strange and dangerous land. Help us to hold loosely to the things of this world so that we are willing to pitch our tent anywhere you lead, like she did.

    Father, give us the conviction of Rahab, who took a stand on Jehovah’s side and was resourceful and brave when she hid the spies (Josh 2:11).

    If we are entrusted with leadership, help us to lead without losing our God-given distinctness, like Deborah, “who arose as a mother of Israel” (Judges 5:7).

    Jesus, give us the loyalty and love of Ruth, who left everything in Moab to care for her mother-in-law and identify herself with your people. Help us to see you alone as our Kinsman-Redeemer who brings abundance from emptiness and joy from mourning.

    Give us the serenity of Hannah, who released her beloved son Samuel to fulfill your purposes. Let us always know that our children are on loan from you and help us to raise them to love and serve you all their lives. We declare with Hannah, “It is not by strength that one prevails” (1 Sam 2:9).

    Give us the strength and boldness of Queen Esther who was ready and willing to step up to the plate “for such a time as this.” Help us to see the opportunities you have placed in our lives right now and to act upon them in faith (Esther 4:15).

    Holy Spirit, give us a humble, willing spirit like Mary’s so that even if we are afraid, we may say, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let it be to me according to your will” (Luke 1:38).

    Jesus, give us a teachable spirit like Mary of Bethany who sat at your feet and listened to you, knowing that you would give her something that could never be taken away from her. Let busyness never be our master (Luke 10:38).

    And Lord, when life’s storms come and you seem far away, make us as bold and sure as Martha, who, even at her brother’s funeral, declared without wavering, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God” (John 11:27).

    Saviour, show us your vast forgiveness so that we may be like the woman who let down her hair and anointed your feet with perfume. Make us worshippers first so that we may give extravagantly out of the overflow of your grace. Help us to see you as our advocate, our refuge and the one to whom we can bring everything, even our greatest shame and sin (Luke 7:44-46).

    Lord of the harvest, give us a big vision to see the many practical ways in which we can sow into your kingdom wherever we are. Make us brave and industrious like those women in Rome.

    And finally, Lord, if you give us grace to live until we are old and grey, help us to be like those two old women in Luke. Like Anna, may we always long for your presence, remain steadfast in prayer and be quick to bless others. And if we are left with just a widow’s mite, give us hearts that want to drop it all into your treasure store. Help us to live each day eager and ready for your return as King (Luke 2:36-38; Luke 21:1, 2, 3).

    Benediction

    Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages but has now been disclosed and through the prophetic writings has been made known to all nations, according to the command of the eternal God, to bring about the obedience of faith— to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! (Romans 16:16-17).
    Amen.

    Useful resources:

    The Dynamic Ministry of Women in Early Christianity, Michael Kruger.

    https://www.christchurchmidrand.co.za/portfolio-items/4-roles-of-men-and-women/

    https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/podcasts/tgc-podcast/dynamic-ministry-women-early-christianity/[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container background_color=”#ffffff” background_image=”” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”20″ padding_bottom=”20″ padding_left=”5%” padding_right=”5%” hundred_percent=”yes” equal_height_columns=”yes” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_3″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”yes” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” 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min_height=”none”][fusion_title size=”2″ content_align=”left” style_type=”default” sep_color=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” class=”” id=””]Other devotions from the God Walk…[/fusion_title][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_recent_posts layout=”default” hover_type=”none” columns=”3″ number_posts=”6″ offset=”” cat_slug=”devotion” exclude_cats=”” thumbnail=”yes” title=”yes” meta=”no” excerpt=”yes” excerpt_length=”0″ strip_html=”yes” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][/fusion_recent_posts][fusion_text]– more devotions –[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]