Tag: conflict

  • Called to Peace

    Called to Peace

    Series: Blessed are the Peacemakers, by Rosie Moore.

    “Blessed are the peacemakers,
      for they will be called children of God (Matt 5:9)

    Most of us are not born peacemakers, but becoming a skilled peacemaker is not an optional extra in the Christian life. In my own case, even minor conflicts stress me out and I tend to seek out escape routes and eject buttons to avoid having to deal with unpleasant people or situations! But pretending that a problem does not exist and trying to carry on as though nothing has happened only delays the inevitable blow-up. It also breeds bitterness. As the Holy Spirit works in my life, I am learning to become a more skilled peacemaker, because Christ commands it and equips his followers to do it (Matt 18:15-18; Gal 6:1). Peace-making is the overflow of a heart that is at peace with God (1 Thess 5:13; Eph 4:3). We are called to peace in our relationships with one another.

    Escape response.

    The High Priest, Eli, favoured the ‘escape’ response to conflict when he refused to deal with his sons’ sin. His denial led to disaster for his entire family and the nation of Israel (1 Sam 2:22-25). The escape response may lead you to quit your job, leave your school, divorce your spouse, cut off a relationship, or refuse to communicate rather than work through a conflict. A person who repeatedly avoids or denies conflict is often bitter. Bitterness is retained anger that nurses hurts and broods over past offences, real or imagined. Bitterness is a destructive sin which is one of Satan’s favourite tools for destroying unity in churches, families and other relationships (Eph 4:26-27; Heb 12:15). “Escape” is the first pit that many of us fall into when conflict arises. It is a futile attempt to protect ourselves from pain and discomfort.

    Attack response.

    The second pit is to ‘attack’ the person who has opposed or thwarted us. People with an attack response generally use force or intimidation to inflict pain on others, including hurtful words, untrue accusations, angry insults, mocking, name-calling and gossip. Malice longs to make the other person look foolish or to crush him or her emotionally (Eph 4:31). This person typically minimises their sinful outbursts, calling it ‘venting’.

    An attacker cares more about getting their own way, winning the argument and defending themselves, than about restoring the relationship or glorifying God. James 4:1-3 reminds us that attacking our opponent is a sure sign that an idol is ruling our heart. The message is, “Either get in line with what I want, or you will suffer.” ‘Attack’ is a natural but dangerous response to conflict. It is the enemy of peace-making and healthy relationships.

    Enormous harm is done to our Christian witness and to relationships when we habitually choose the escape or attack responses to conflict. These responses may be the only patterns we have seen in our own families, but they are carnal and unbiblical. Deep hurt, messy lawsuits, physical abuse, seething hatred, harsh accusations, bitterness and broken relationships inevitably ensue. Even if we do not physically try to kill a person, we are guilty of murder in God’s eyes if we nurse anger or contempt in our hearts towards others (1 John 3:15; Matt 5:21-22).

    Called to peace.

    But as children of God who have been reconciled to our Father through Christ’s death and resurrection, we are called to deal with conflict in a Biblical way that is radically different from our natural instincts and the way the world fights. God calls us to be agents of reconciliation in the power of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor 5:16-21). In Ken Sande’s words, we are called to be peacemakers— not peace fakers or peace breakers! We are called to genuine peace.

     In Romans 12:14-21, Paul challenges us with the serious commitment needed to become a peacemaker, especially in the face of wrong treatment: Bless those who persecute us. Be tender and compassionate. Commit to living in harmony. Do not be proud. Meet your enemy’s need. Overcome evil with good. Move from seeking vengeance to finding ways to do good. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Rom 12:18). While we actively pursue peace with a person who wrongs us, we continue to entrust the offender to God’s perfect justice and mercy. Peacemaking is an act of profound trust in God. It is also an act of obedience in defiance of our instincts to escape, avoid or attack.

    Over and over again in Scripture, God commands us to seek and pursue genuine peace when we face disputes, especially with other Christians. We are called to seek the welfare of our community; to pursue mutual upbuilding; to aim for restoration and agreement; to allow Christ’s peace to rule our hearts; to strive for peace and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord (Ps 34:14; Jer 29:7; Rom 14:19; 1 Cor 7:15; 2 Cor 13:11; Col 3:15; 1 Thess 5:13; Heb 12:14). This is not an easy task, but if God has called us to peace, He has also promised to provide everything we need to become skilled peacemakers (2 Peter 1:3-9).

    Conversely, God is not pleased with a contentious or quarrelsome spirit: As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a contentious person for kindling strife” (Prov 26:21). “The greedy stir up conflict, but those who trust in the Lord will prosper” (Prov 28:25). “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins” (Prov 29:22).

    There are three great reasons to grow in our peacemaking skills. The first reason is that it comes with a promise of blessing.

    Blessed are the peacemakers.

    God promises to bless peacemakers, “for they will be called sons of God”  (Prov 12:20; Matt 5:9). Blessed means more than fickle happiness. It is the state of those who are in Christ’s kingdom, living for Jesus and his eternal kingdom values. Blessed peacemakers experience God’s favour, hope and joy regardless of their situation. The Psalmist writes, Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace” (Ps 37:37). God is pleased with our efforts at peacemaking, even if our opponent is unwilling to repent and resolve the conflict.

    James reminds us that peace-making is the path to living wisely in God’s world. It is a process that, in time, will yield a harvest of righteousness in our own lives. Often this harvest spills over to the family and broader community of the peacemaker: “The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness (James 3:17-18).

    Peacemakers are Christlike.

    The second reason to become a peacemaker is that it makes us more like Christ. Jesus’ whole mission, from birth to death, was a mission of peace-making (Luke 1:79; Isa 2:4).

    “The Prince of Peace” laid down his life so that we could experience peace with God, peace with one another and peace within ourselves (Col 1:19-20; Rom 5:1-2). And so, as new creatures in Christ, peace and unity are essential to our Christian witness (John 17:1-19). A pattern of unresolved conflicts and broken relationships do not reflect well on Jesus’ saving work on the cross. In fact, they bring the gospel into disrepute.

    And so, for a Christian, regardless of our tendencies, temperaments or cultures, a conflict is not a crisis to avoid, nor a reason to retaliate, nor an excuse to shift blame or become defensive. Rather, conflict is an opportunity to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts (Rom 14:13). It is an opportunity to showcase the gospel and obey Christ’s command to love one another as He has loved us (1 John 3:10, 23). Peacemaking is what distinguishes God’s children from the unredeemed world.

    Conflict is a stewardship.

    The third reason to become a peacemaker is because it provides an opportunity to faithfully steward whatever God has given us. No conflict is an accident. In every conflict lies a choice. We can choose to follow the ways of the world and our flesh, selfishness, pride or lust for power. Or we can choose to faithfully steward our conflict by obeying God’s Word, by reflecting the humility and love of Jesus, our King.

    No matter how messy or adversarial, conflict always provides an opportunity to glorify God, serve other people and grow in Christlikeness (Rom 8:28-29). This is God’s purpose for every conflict. We see this opportunity in Christ’s words to His disciples in the Sermon on the Mount:

    “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:27-36).

    Similarly, Paul’s acid test of whether we are walking by the Spirit or the flesh is seen in our response to inter-personal conflict. His letter to the carnal Galatian Christians is sobering, as it goes to the heart of whether we belong to the kingdom of God:

    The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Gal 5:19-26).

    If God calls us to steward every conflict, we must ask ourselves, “How can I please God and strive for peace with this person who is opposing me?” Peace isn’t always possible, but God is pleased with our efforts as agents of reconciliation (Rom 12:18).

    Conflict provides an opportunity to show the love and power of Jesus in our lives. It is an opportunity to see, confess and forsake our heart idols, which may be contributing to the quarrel (James 4:1-2). It is an opportunity to remove our own logs so that we can see clearly to confront someone else (Matt 7:1-6).

    Conflict is an opportunity for us to gently correct and restore a Christian brother or sister caught in sin (Gal 6:1; Matt 18:15). It is an opportunity to be as merciful and forgiving to others as God is to us (Matt 18:21-35). Forgiveness is hard, but it is the way to peace and reconciliation.

    As Jesus said to his disciples, “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:3-5).

    The core issue in conflict is not what we want or feel, but what God wants and the best way to pursue it. God calls us to steward every conflict by pursuing peace in His prescribed way. Many times we will discover that right actions lead to right feelings.

    Join us next week as we look at “Practices of a Peacemaker.” We will look at the specific practices and processes that God has prescribed in Scripture to make peace.

     

     

     

  • Abram the Peacemaker

    Abram the Peacemaker

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    Physical SCARCITY and emotional STRIFE are litmus tests of our heart.

    They prove whether our faith is resting in God alone, or propped up by his blessings. They expose the false gods of the heart and reveal our insecurities and discontentment. Scarcity and strife force us into a decision: To choose for ourselves, or trust God to choose on our behalf.

    Abram and Lot faced these litmus tests in Genesis 13 when their herdsmen were in conflict over scarce land and resources. Abram’s dealings with Lot show the fruit of genuine repentance and a growing faith. Although the entire land was rightfully his, Abram did not consider it his right to hold close to his chest. Instead, he risked losing the best portions of land to Lot, “entrusting himself to (God) who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). Through this family conflict, Abram proved that He trusted God as his shield and his very great reward (Gen 15:1). His peace efforts were motivated by GRACE, rather than by PRIDE or FEAR. Abram was confident of his place in God’s family and chose God’s blessing over what he could see with his eyes or grasp with his hands. As for Lot, he selfishly chose for himself, based on what his eyes desired.

    Appearances can be deceiving.

    Our text is Genesis 13:

    So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold.

    From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier and where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord.

    Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time.

    So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

    10 Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) 11 So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company:12 Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. 13 Now the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.

    14 The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. 15 All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. 16 I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. 17 Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.”

    18 So Abram went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he pitched his tents. There he built an altar to the Lord. (Gen 13)

    The fruit of genuine repentance

    Abram’s faith is a work in progress. In the previous scene, famine and fear propelled him into hasty schemes in Egypt when he chose to trust himself instead of Yahweh (Gen 12:10-20). After grasping at every straw of self-protection, Abram left Egypt in a cloud of disgrace. Today however, we get a snapshot of a repentant man who returns to his previous altar and calls again on the name of the Lord (Gen 13:3-4). Abram shows us that repentance is the only way back when we have backslidden or wandered from the Great Shepherd of our souls. A humbled Abram once again places his confidence in the Lord’s promises and treats his nephew, Lot, with the same undeserved grace that Yahweh showed toward him.

    Abram offered Lot an olive branch plucked from the tree of grace.

    Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matt 5:9).

    Genesis 13 is a cameo of a peacemaker in action. It is also a simple picture of the gospel of grace two thousand years before Christ was born.

    Lot should have deferred to his uncle since he owed his existence to Abram (Gen 11:27-28), but in response to this insult, Abram held out an olive branch to his nephew. He overlooked Lot’s offence and gave up his legitimate right to all the land for the sake of reconciliation. Abram valued family relationships more than wealth, pride or status. He took the initiative to be a peacemaker even though he was the older, wiser and more powerful man (Gen 13:8-9).

    It is impossible to make sense of Abram’s generous response when we consider Mesopotamian culture, which gave a patriarch absolute authority over his household.

    Yet, against the grain of human nature and his culture, Abram repaid Lot’s insult with blessing. Perhaps it was because he himself had experienced the grace and forgiveness of God.

    Abram responded as a man who knew that he was the heir of God’s blessing which he valued more than anything (1 Peter 3:9; 14). His eyes gazed beyond tents, grass and soil– to a heavenly country –“the city with foundations whose designer and builder is God” (Heb 11:10; 16). Even without Scripture to read and before the law of Moses, Abram knew these Biblical truths: “Whoever would love life and see good days…let him seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11). “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Rom 12:17-18; 19-21).

    Unlike Lot, Abram was not ruled by what his eyes saw, but believed that “the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous” (1 Peter 3:12).

    Abram did not act out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but rather, in humility, valued Lot above himself (Phil 2:3-4). Abram could not have imagined that his descendant would be the Lord Jesus himself “who, being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather he made himself nothing…he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Phil 2:6; 7; 8). Abram unwittingly had the same mindset as Christ Jesus in his dealings with Lot.

    Abram became a minister of reconciliation, just as we are entrusted to be. Our motive for peacemaking is God’s grace, which has been lavished on us when we least deserved it:

    “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation” (2 Cor 5:18-19).

    Lot chose for himself.

    Verse 10 and 11 are pregnant with irony. Lot allowed his worldly eyes to be his guide. Just as Eve “saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye”, Lot’s desires ruled him (Gen 3:6). Instead of seeking the counsel of God or Abram, He chose the best land for himself because he could see how lush it was, “like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt”. Ironically, it was Abram’s faithless sojourn in Egypt that had given Lot a taste for the plains of the Jordan.

    The land of Lot’s choice was physically fertile, but spiritually barren.

    Sodom and Gomorrah’s wickedness is an echo of Genesis 6:5 which describes the great sin of the human race before God destroyed the world with a flood. Verse 10 is an omen of what lay ahead for Lot. He may have initially camped near Sodom, but the next we hear of Lot, he has permanently settled inside the city of Sodom, along with his family. Sin is progressive.

    Lot chose to sow his seed in Sodom, and he and his family reaped more wickedness than they could handle (Gen 14:12; 19:4-5; 6-8; Gen 19:30-33). It is impossible to miss the very real danger Christians face when we allow ourselves and our children to set up ‘camp’ close to wickedness as Lot did. We cannot avoid living in the world, but we will not survive as Christians if we allow our culture’s passions, possessions and power to captivate our eyes and our hearts. Lot teaches us that we must remain holy and separate from the rebellion of our culture. Do we realize how much our choices affect our families and future generations? Do we trust the Lord’s choice for our lives, or do we choose for ourselves?

    Living by faith and not by sight

    Because Abram was not mesmerised by “all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life”, God lifted his eyes to the horizon to survey the land He had picked out for him and his offspring (1 John 2:16; Gen 13:14-17). Like an estate agent, he invited Abram to walk the length and breadth of the land and told Abram that there would be no purchase price for this property: “I am giving it to you” (Gen 13:17). It would be another 25 years before Sarah would give birth to Isaac, the first seed of the promise, and about 470 years before Abram’s descendants would finally cross the Jordan river to take possession of Canaan (Josh 14:7; 24:29). Abram lived by faith and not by sight.

    Live it out!

    Do you see it as your role to be a channel of peace and reconciliation in your family, church and community, as Abram was? Read these New Testament passages and ask how you can practically be a peacemaker.

    Matthew 18:15-17

    2 Timothy 2:22-26

    1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; 5:15.

    1 Peter 3:9

    Rom 12:17

    Pray

    Father, give me faith to desire a better country—a heavenly one. Give me eyes to see beyond appearances, beyond conflict and beyond scarcity. Give me eyes of faith to see that that you alone are my shield and my great reward. Help me to humble myself under your mighty hand, so that I will make the first move towards peace where there is strife.

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min_height=”none”][fusion_title size=”2″ content_align=”left” style_type=”default” sep_color=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” class=”” id=””]Other devotions from the God Walk…[/fusion_title][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_recent_posts layout=”default” hover_type=”none” columns=”3″ number_posts=”6″ offset=”” cat_slug=”devotion” exclude_cats=”” thumbnail=”yes” title=”yes” meta=”no” excerpt=”yes” excerpt_length=”0″ strip_html=”yes” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][/fusion_recent_posts][fusion_text]– more devotions –[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]